My niece’s birthday is July 31st and she’s turning eleven so I made her this.

I was going to arrange for her to stay in a rickety old shack in the middle of the sea and be stalked by a giant as her cousin gets given a pig tail, then get the giant to present her with a cake and take her away from her guardians with little to no explanation but I’m skint.

Unfortunately the ink ran on ‘Hogwarts’ and I spelt necessary wrong (I blame the pressures of trying to write evenly on painted paper with ink that may blur at any moment, just try not to look at it). But my niece won’t mind, she once wrote me a letter saying “good luck in youni”